Today was one of many days that I knew I should have stayed in bed…
My story is like that of many who have or are going through this nightmare… I am the mother of 3 beautiful girls who are 13, 7 and my baby who just turned 6 today…. Of these 3 gifts from God, I only gave birth to the oldest. I married the love of my life in May of last year and became the mother of the youngest 2 children. I became a nurse in October of 2007 and have completed 2 of 4 years towards my BA in Psychology. I own my home and have worked very hard to have everything in my life. My life hasn’t always been peaches and cream. My brother and I were victims of the system as children. My father’s second wife physically abused us for 8 years before children’s division stepped in and moved us into foster care. The women who abused us had no charges pressed against her, mind you my brother had to have his jaw re-wired, and she didn’t lose her own children. As a matter of fact she worked many years as a CNA and is now a dietary supervisor in a nursing home. Many years later I started down the wrong path .I lost my mother to a lengthy illness when she was 35. I had just turned 17. Due to false accusations by my father’s 3rd wife who hot lined me more than 30 times and convinced my 3 year old at the time that her father was molesting her, I ended up dealing the CD. My battle lasted 3 years. They made me divorce my husband and even scared him so much that he terminated his rights when she was 4 ½ years old. I went through hell, but I never gave up and eventually she returned to me. She has been home with me for 7 years now. Last October started my new trial and tribulations in life….
My dear brother passed away unexpectedly October 10, 2010. His death was very hard on me…. He and I have been through so much together. I am older by 1 day shy of 14 months. He was 30 and is now with our mother. I am still carrying the burden and responsibilities that came with his death. My family laid all the decisions and financial responsibility on me.
The last week of November 2010, my littlest one had received some bruising on the back of both of her thighs from being knocked down numerous times by the new family dog…. A 9 month old Great Dane…. My mother-in-law didn’t ask what happened….she assumed, just like everyone else has. The day after Thanksgiving she had some swelling to her face, but was not having any difficulty in breathing and was not complaining of any pain….so I did what any parent or nurse would do…..apply ice and monitor….the next day I administered Benadryl just in case it was an allergy…. She was always having sinus problems and her nose was runny and she had a cough anyways…. Little did I know what was about to happen…. The whole entire area of both her eyes and the bridge of her nose turned green, it covered the area of what Robin’s mask in Batman would cover. We panicked…..an appointment was made immediately with her pediatrician, which she has been seeing for 3 years now!
I was called into work the morning of November 30, 2010. My daughter had an appointment at 1:30pm that afternoon. I stressed to my husband the type of blood work and testing I wanted done on her…. He kept in touch via text messaging. Her doctor stated that her face was an allergic reaction….. She referred to it as “ALLERGIC SHINNERS.” Even though I am a nurse…. I had to Google it!
Everything was still ok at this point….oh and we never hid what the appointment was for!!!! When she got to her thighs, she told my husband she was hot lining him for abuse because at that point it was considered excessive. He told her that was fine because he had nothing to hide!!!!
I tried to talk to my husband and tell him not to say a word or try to defend himself….. They made sure he really didn’t talk to me……immediately I was getting a lawyer; I knew what was getting ready to happen. They placed 2 of the 3 children with my in-laws…………. Very bad mistake!!!! I had some prior knowledge of CD, but no idea of what was to occur………..
We hired a lawyer, who screwed us majorly…………. ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS research lawyers before hiring one!!!!!!
I had a mental break down and had to be hospitalized for 6 days. In those 6 days they cornered and scared my husband, who was also having a breakdown in the process. They convinced him that if he didn’t move out before I came out of the hospital that he would lose his kids forever….. I came home to an empty home…. I let him go to the first “support team meeting” by himself…. I figured he didn’t want to listen to me…than he can get belittled and thrown to the dogs on his own……… he was only gone for 2 days before he was realizing what was going on…. We had a long talk about what we should do…
We were screwed from day one! Our CW not only has a Masters in Psychology, but carries a Professional Counselor License…..
My husband and I have completed everything on the “Written Service Agreement” that has been asked. We have paid for everything and gone beyond what they have asked…. I have known all along that the CW was against us from the beginning…. She thought she was dealing with a stupid woman….
April fool’s day of this year and 4 months into the case, the foster parents or my in-laws filed for guardianship………. And all the sudden the biological mother is in the picture…. What a surprise….. Not!
I knew then we needed a lawyer who would fight till the death….
I began to research everything and came across the most interesting website www.falseallegation.org . I spoke with a woman named Kim Hart who gave me the best advice ever…..”You have the right to shut the fuck up.” She was awesome! She will locate lawyers who have experience with your type of case and in the state you are dealing with….. I highly recommend this to anyone and everyone. My husband and I spoke with our now current lawyer for many hours and asked many questions before we decided to go with her. Also, she didn’t charge us before the agreement was signed. Our lawyer has been a heaven’s sent……….
May 17, 2011 criminal charges were pressed on my husband and I……..
We are both being charged with the exact crime….. Class C Felony for child abuse…..
The bond was set at $25,000 cash or surety for each of us….. Our lawyer spoke with the prosecutor and agreed to reduce the bond to $5,000 apiece. We voluntarily turned ourselves in and the whole booking procedure took 2 hours and we were out………..
Little did we know and were soon to find out….. There was a lot of missing information that the prosecutor didn’t know……. Go figure!
We committed no crime and did not hurt our child. Because I am considered a step-parent, I have no rights to these 2 little girls who call me mommy and their real mother by her name….. These beautiful children are lost and confused and need guidance… they need their parents!!!
We record everything and answer all questions with “I understand what you are saying.” I do not play their game and I will get my children home and terminate the biological mother’s rights, which she doesn’t deserve to have. Our rights have been violated and a record has been kept to deal with and proceed with after all is said and done. I have spent a lot of money and will end up spending more…. My children are worth every penny…. Money can always be replaced, but my children cannot.
Yesterday was my baby girl’s 6th birthday. I found out today that she can jump off the diving board and swim to the ladder all by herself. She is growing up so big and doing so much. She just finished Kindergarten and will be going into the 1st grade with a 2nd grade reading level. My other baby can do the same in the pool and is as smart as a tack. Also, she has lost most of her baby teeth.
Today is the first day of our 7th month of dealing with CD. I have not seen my children for 210 days. I have missed so much and can only watch them grow up in pictures. Because I am considered to have no legal rights to these children and because CD’s “substantiated by preponderance of evidence” they will not allow me to see them, only their father. We have a new CW now, and she has no idea what has been going on………and also, is fresh off the market…..
This is my short story up to now without explicit details of everything….
My life has been turned upside down and inside out while being left out to dry…
I know more about the law than I thought I would ever know….
Mr. Leonard, your sight has helped in many ways….. For this my family thanks you.
As a gift we would like to also share some more sights for you to put on your website to help other families like ours….
The National Children’s Advocacy Center:
- This is where all models and most training for their “experts” come from.
Missouri Division of Professional Registration:
- This is for the state of Missouri, but you can Google for any other state and just need to know last name and partial first name.
National Child Abuse Defense & Resource Center:
- This is where I found my lawyers.
Missouri Department of Social Services:
- Each state has their own social services and there is a lot of information including manuals, forms, laws, and links to the government websites that has employed them that shows pay scale, benefits, education needed, and job description.
My personal advice to everyone and anyone going through this…..
The people that have examined or interviewed your child or children…. Look more into the training required for each field and find out as much as you can……….. Know your rights and your laws.
I found out the “Medical Provider” approved to examine my daughter works in the same office as her doctor and is not the approved provider for the Advocacy Center and to top it off….. The “Forensic Interviewer” is a licensed Pharmacy Technician. The requirements for that will run you $150.00 and is a 3 day course………… and that makes you an expert!